How to Do the Holidays Your Way: A Guide for Families Navigating Sensory Needs, Routines, and Real-Life Chaos

The holidays can be magical… and a little chaotic.
 

Okay let’s be real….very chaotic.

Between the travel, the noise, the unpredictable schedules, and the endless stream of “just try it!” foods, it’s no surprise that many families with neurodivergent children feel more stress than sparkle this time of year.

But here’s the good news:

You are allowed to do the holidays in the way that works best for your family.

It doesn't have to be the “Pinterest perfect” way or the “this is how we’ve always done it” way.
 

Instead it can be the your-kid-thrives-here way.

And with a little planning and communication, you can create a holiday season that is joyful, inclusive, and realistic (for everyone involved).

Let’s break it down.

1. Advocate for Your Family Before You Even Arrive

Advocacy doesn’t pause because it’s the holidays.

Before attending any event, it’s completely appropriate (and incredibly helpful) to reach out and ask a few questions:

• “What activities or parts of the day might be loud or overwhelming?”
  
  
• “Is there a quiet space my child can go to if they need a break?”
  
  
• “Are there foods being served that I should prep alternatives for?”
  
  
• “Would you be okay with us arriving late or leaving early if we need to?”
  
  
• “Is there anything I can bring so my child feels included?”
  
  

Most people genuinely want to support you….they just don’t always know how.

Giving them information up front sets expectations and eliminates awkward moments later.

2. Help Others Be More Inclusive (And It Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated!)

If you are the one hosting (or if you want to help friends and family step up their inclusivity game) here are a few easy ideas:

— Create a quiet corner.
A cozy chair, soft lighting, maybe a weighted blanket. You’d be shocked how many kids (and adults!) use it.

— Offer familiar foods.
Chicken nuggets at Christmas dinner? Absolutely yes.

— Prep guests with simple cues.
A quick, “Hey, loud surprises don’t work for him, so keep greetings calm,” goes a long way.

— Allow movement.
If a child needs to pace, bounce, or take breaks, normalize it.

— Skip forced hugs.
Consent is more festive than obligation.

These little shifts create an environment where every child (and parent) can breathe easier.

3. Protect Your Peace (Seriously, Put This on Your List)

Your child isn’t the only one who matters…

You deserve a holiday that feels good, too.

Try these strategies to protect your mental and emotional space:

— Set boundaries early.
“Yes, we’ll come, but we may need to duck out early.”
“No, we won’t be doing multiple events in one day.”

— Decide your “non-negotiables.”
What matters most to your family?
What can you let go of this year?

— Have an exit plan.
Every parent deserves one. A phrase like, “We’re going to take a little break,” works wonders.

— Bring what regulates your child.
Noise-canceling headphones, fidgets, tablet, snacks… with ZERO guilt.

Holiday advocacy is easier when you plan for success rather than hope for survival.

4. Finally… Give Yourself Permission to Choose What Works

Maybe that’s staying home this year or maybe it’s attending one hour of the event instead of four.

It could also be hosting a low-sensory brunch instead of going to a crowded dinner.
 

Or maybe it’s just saying “no” without explaining!!

You are not difficult or overreacting. You are protecting your family’s peace and that is the most beautiful holiday tradition you can create.

Here’s to a holiday season full of joy, comfort, boundaries, and moments that actually feel good.

You deserve that and your child deserves that.

Here’s to your holiday getting to look exactly the way you need it to.