0:01
Back to School is coming up and markeesha and Courtney's here to help you navigate some transitions with your child, I cannot believe I did a poll. And I put early August, late August and September. And Courtney told me that I left out July. And I was like, What do you mean?
0:24
I was like, my kids go back to school in July. And she's like, that's wrong.
0:30
Are you talking about July? The thing is, Courtney, you weren't the only one. And I was I had the face like, ah, like the emoji that says, What? What are we talking about July? In Arizona?
0:42
Yeah, yeah, I guess my husband says it's modified year round, modified year round. That's what
0:50
they're gonna be hot.
0:54
weather delays there, what is not delays but like this. So extremely good, go out to recess. If it's like, well, over 110, they can go out to heat advisory that's
1:07
a year, they don't get to go to school. I mean, they don't get to go to play a lot of times, outside, so none of the less we want to help you guys transition and help ourselves. transition back to school, because we're both dealing with this currently. Yeah, you go.
1:27
Next week. My kids are back next week. So I definitely timely for me, like I can help the people who you know, have August and September, they'll have a lot of time to implement our Part One and Part Two of back to school time.
1:42
And I am actually going to be doing the first part that we're going to be doing is transitioning Joe back is I go to the school early and have him meet his teacher. And we go through his school day. And I'm not talking about open house alone private tour, if you want to call it that. So he knows what his day looks like. Lunch, just the whole school day with the playground recess. Library, it is the same school that he went to last year. However, of course, it's a different teacher. He was super anxious last year, about second grade, like everyone's talking about second grade, second grade. And he didn't get what that meant. And so he thought that second grade meant, like first grade. And then like the last day of school, he was going to second grade. And he started to have a really hard time because he was like, I don't understand what the second grade thing is. So they kind of worked with his teacher to talk. So he got to see his second grade class, because of those things early. And so we're going to be continuing that on. So I would urge you guys to see if your school could give your child a private preview of what that looks like walk down the hallways, wherever the drop off is, and whatever the schedule would look like their RSP room, their speech room, if possible, the teachers that they're going to be having, or pictures of what their new teachers would look like. And the playgrounds, like I said, the lunch areas, you need lunch numbers, anything that that can have a preview ahead of time, and I like to see it physically, like I don't just I like to go there. If you're able to do that, then that is my tip. Me and Joe will be going there next week.
3:44
Yeah, so important, because that's so different than like a picture like experiencing it. And for our kids to have well, for a lot of different reasons, whether it's anxiety, or part of their diagnosis for another medical diagnosis, whatever the case may be, the truth is that it's real to them. And that that feeling of I don't know where to go, I don't know what it's gonna look like, that's just gonna replay in their mind over and over again and for my kiddo that will get stuck on that, and it'd be hard. And I think part of that too, is when you were saying like second grade, I am not criticizing teachers was like, you know, in fifth grade, it will be different. And so they're trying to prepare the kids but for kids that are very literal, they take that. So that's one of the anxiety points for my son is well, in fifth grade, it's going to be so much harder. It's this or it's not, which it very well might be but I also think it was a tool to try to motivate the fourth grader, you know, and so, but for kids who are you know, a lot of black and white there have it's this or it's that then those stuck on it this, I'm not going to be able to make it because I don't know how to do those things. So I have one question for you when you ask for that. Because I get this a lot from families when they say, well the school just said no, we don't do that. So like when you said, this is what I need? Is it because you're a hoarder? Like, you know, just let her in. But like if a parent says, hey, the school just told me we don't do that here. Like, I know what I would say. But I'm just curious, like what you would say to that if they if the school kind of tries to shut you down?
5:20
I would ask to see the policy. Oh, my I wouldn't be able to do that. That would be the first reason why I would see it as a commendation to help him, it's probably somewhere in his IEP, that that would be helpful. For him, we'll schools seems like they would accommodate something like that the beginning of the school year, every child can't, maybe can't make it to open house. Even if your child didn't have an IEP to come see the school, you know, parents work schedules and things like that don't always jive with those types of you know, the times for that to come preview the school. So, you know, it's a public school, there's tons of things, I would say it's a public school. So you know, it belongs, it belongs to the people. So you can make an appointment at any time really, to preview, you know, to see the school and to see make an appointment to see the teacher.
6:24
Just don't take that no, like, I just feel like sometimes they that are too often not everybody. It's not just maybe that's an overgeneralization. But I think too often the go to is like no, or our teachers don't have time for that, which is all very true. My husband's a teacher, he's extremely busy. But I also know that on many years, he gets an email saying, my child doesn't do well with meet the teacher with the crowds. Can Can we come and meet with you at a different time. And of course, my husband says yes, he wants, he wants to get to know the kids. He wants to know what their struggles and strengths are. So he can help encourage them to do the school year. But I just want to address that because so often, like good families are just gonna know and I want them to have permission from the party and my Keisha to set that now, and go back again and and say, and paint a picture of why I want to help so that my child has less anxiety on the first day so that we can avoid meltdowns so that I can have a chance to talk to the teacher to help them know what works best for your child. And really, when you paint the picture of those needs, and why it's such a great idea, I would be hard for somebody to say like, we don't we don't do that here. You know, we don't want to meet the kids where they're at. We don't do that here. So for that's great idea. I love that. And then another thing we've been doing is talking about when you're doing that tour, and even if you don't go do the tour, I've been emailing and calling and just figuring out what service providers so when I say service providers, I'm talking about like speech therapists, occupational therapist, like you said, the resource teacher, who those are, and this is twofold. So it's one because I want to help my children know who they're going to see. And if it's different, what their name is. So can they can they see a lot of different people during the school week for their support. So I want them to know, like, who they're seeing. But my second reason is staff shortages. And so if I know that they don't have an OT and occupational therapist, then I now know as a parent, I need to be asking, well, how are we going to make sure that my son and my daughter are getting the supports, if we don't have an occupational therapist in place. So figuring out who your child's teachers who their support, people are also help you know, if there's any gaps in service minutes, or they're not going to start the year having a speech therapist, that happens a lot. And we can go into what to do during a different podcast if you have missing IEP minutes, but for now, I think this is a really great way to lean into preparing them for the school year knowing if they're there people change.
9:18
Yeah, right, who's gonna be there? So you can say, Josiah, you know, he's used to his, his people. And if there's people change, he's like,
9:27
he doesn't know that.
9:31
He's very, very, yeah, sometimes there's subs and he's like, yeah, no, yeah, about her. And sometimes it doesn't work out as well.
9:43
Yeah, because there's definitely I mean as speaking as a SLPA I can tell you there's some kids that you know, that just love me and they jive with me and I I know AAC, let's say. So they got a different speech therapist and they didn't know about AAC. He that's going to be a big deal to them and their family because I knew that so I could really lean in and help them with that. So it's a big deal. And we all have people that we just love seeing every week at our job or whatever. And if one day we walked in there gone, we would were shocked. We're like, Well, where is you know, Nancy from HR? Oh. So that's it's, our kids are no different. They want reassurance, they want predictability. They want to make sure that they know what's going to happen during their day. So the other thing we do at our house is getting ready for summertime. You know, they can stay up later. I think a lot of families do that. Getting up different times. So we do, you know, five days out, you know, we start doing like our normal bedtime routine, trying to get them up a little bit earlier, I do it a little bit every day. So we get up closer and closer to their normal rise time for school. So that first day is just not like a shock. And can get out some of the kinks of getting back into you know, the routine is not as relaxed. We have we have timelines here we have to make the bus and such.
11:15
They're not known for being exactly on time, except for just like, the thing which we'll say is over the summer parties like a rockstar, all his siblings are teenagers. So I was like, You're not going away for college because you stay up late. But he does not sleep in like, he wakes up like a school. Yeah, same time. But it's not school today, right? And I'm like, No, it's not. So he he will still be on this.
11:44
Lifetime. He's already been maintaining it.
11:48
Vacation. We were like, remember, when you wake up? What are you supposed to do? He's like, be on my iPad quiet.
11:57
Like, the rest of us do not want to rise at this time.
12:02
On vacation, okay. It's like, Okay, mommy, remember where your snacks are? Okay, we'll get you up when it's time for breakfast. I mean, he can literally stay up anyhow, for another session. We do that too.
12:20
Yeah, a lot of a lot of our kids sleep is not necessarily something that they that they need. It seems like because my daughter, she can go off or little sleep. I just wish that I had the same, you know, functionality. But I don't I need sleep. So it's kind of rough for me. So yeah, so those are back to school tips of you know, figuring out who their teacher is going through that school. I guess we can get to the other stuff later at some of that bleeds into then getting the the teachers on board. So for this session, we want this podcast we want to focus on getting your kids Oh, I know Alex we're gonna talk about was leaning into their recognizing that their feelings and whatever fears are having one thing that I used to think I was helping my kids by time, it wasn't a big deal, or that wasn't a problem. But one thing I realized is that was really dismissive of like the real how they were really feeling. And so one thing that's really helped is validating their feelings for what they are kind of figuring out why that fear is there. What's the root cause of that fear? Because that's really what they need help with is either processing a plan for if this happens, what do I do? Is it okay for me to come to you and say that this math is really hard, and I just, I can't do my homework today, or whatever that is, like kind of flushing it out so that you really can start to see why they're feeling that way and help them through it. Because I was thinking about that. You know what, I do that to an adult or to my friend, my friend called me up and said, Hey, I'm just really stressing about my new job what I dismiss all her fears and tell her that, you know, she's fine. And you know, I'd be like, No, I'd be listening. And then you would dig into the Hey, girl, you're really great at this. And I know that you've done hard things before. So you can do this, of course you have the by your side if you need to call me. And so I really it should have been more intuitive, but I just think sometimes you know, these old sayings like, you know, like up buttercup, and just kind of like, they're really just telling them, you're just dismissing how they feel. And so I've really found that by validating. I get a chance to really listen and lean into why they're feeling that way and then I can better help them get through it. Because we still you know, we have to go to school, but how are we going to make that The most secure and pleasant experience not just for them, but for me too, like, we don't want to have fights every morning or dealing with meltdowns and stuff. So figuring out, like, what's the root cause of that?
15:15
You're getting down to the root cause of it, because all communication, as you know, is all behavior, excuse me is communication. And so getting, excuse me getting down to the root of it is important. And us as parents at various, especially we have more than one you might be patient with. I have four, so I might during the day, might be patient with three. But by at six o'clock, that fourth one, they might be getting into tired mom, they might get and you know, during the day, it's who knows? Yeah, yeah. During the week, oh, my gosh, you know, so, so weak. So I get it, you know, we have to just be able to validate, and then when we don't do those things, because we aren't perfect. We're people too as parents, right? And especially when your child has a disability, I know sometimes I be like, I just he's having a meltdown. I'm mad. And that's a part of his disability. What kind of mother? Am I? Oh, my gosh, like, it's not even something that he can control. I'm just being honest. Right? Yeah. When it gets around to transitions, I know going to the second grade is going to be different. It's a different room. We it does help him to go see and everything but you know, I know that it's going to be different kids.
16:47
You know, yeah, yeah.
16:50
We can't control. And so I you know, that first week is gonna be it's gonna look different, of course. And so we can, excuse me, control those things. And we can just, you know, apologize for those things. Make it make it better apologize. Instead of expecting, like you said, if it was a friend, we expect our kids to have not have big feelings and are valid feelings. You'd be like, Oh, you'd be okay. You're just like, oh, yeah, okay, you're, you're just a kid. You, there's no way you can be, you know, your life isn't that bad looking. But look at the things that you have. You don't have as bad as me as an adult.
17:33
Right. And I think there there is a little chip in there too, as if getting our kids ready for school is also giving ourselves grace as parents. And so I'm realizing that and, you know, so many great things we can get into the in future podcast, but like really validating and centering ourselves as parents so that we can show up the way we want to for our kids. But understanding that no one's perfect honor percent of the time. And so if you find that this is a new skill for you, and you're trying to validate more and lean in, and it's hard to do sometimes, like you said, when you're tired when the weak has gotten away from you, but never be afraid to say I'm sorry, you know what, I couldn't have given you a little more time this morning, when you brought that to me. I, I dropped the ball, you know, I want to listen now. Can I listen now and go back and, and try again. And that's a really important skill for our kids to know is that we're not perfect, and they're not perfect. And then how do you go back and repair something? And we can do that as parents by modeling that and by saying, you know, I want to try again, because I thought about it, and I have I have a better way of handling that this afternoon. I want to are you open to that? My kids always say, Oh, yes, no, no, I'm open to it. Don't you don't have to be sorry, mom. And I said, you know, I do I do need to say sorry, because I want you to be able to say sorry when you make a mistake or when something doesn't go. And so it's really important for a mom to say that she's sorry. And so there's there's that too, when we're getting back to school, just realizing that, you know, we're not going to be perfect. It's okay to say sorry. It's okay to try again. And that back to school is hard on everybody.
19:28
It's a long two weeks to getting.
19:33
We're all in it together.
19:35
Yeah. Yeah. And if you guys have questions about that, I think they say it's
19:41
like our DMS are open but you know, DMS and chat with us because, you know, Markeisha being in the classroom, both of our husbands being teachers. Me being a therapist, we have a lot of, in addition to being moms who just have a lot of different perspectives and ideas that we can offer you guys and that is what we want from this podcast is to be able to share real life moments to be able to encourage people to be authentic, how we show up and how we're doing things and really want to be a resource for families to know that they can come to us and that we're happy to help give tips advice things you can try that worked for us my
20:25
real life situations
20:27
yeah
20:30
well with that being said Happy back to school for you July fires happening August Thurs we're gonna be right behind you and September's we're jealous of you.
20:44
Yeah, because they have like, they get like all the time to get all the back to school resources. And they like I got a whole month and a half in these back to school resources. So yay for you.
20:56
A little bit jealous. A bit jealous.
21:00
Yeah, a little bit jealous.
21:02
But happy back to school, everyone.
21:05
All right. We'll be back for part two, part two.
